I am going to write a “Dear John” letter.

No, my husband and I aren’t breaking up or getting a divorce. We haven’t nearly been married long enough to justify the cost of our May 2009 wedding, so there. You can throw out that idea.

And if you don’t know what a Dear John letter is click here.

I’ve been absent from blogging and absent from a sense of my normal self for about a month. I just like went completely off in my own world, and I was unhappy, miserable, but oh-so-very determined. If any of you know me or have been my friend for awhile, you know that I become obsessed with things until I find what it is I am looking for. Ask Lauren, Ashley, or Jackie. They know. They know.

Judging by my tweets I have been obsessing about a house. And you probably know that as well if you’ve been following my blog. I know (really, I do) that we’re not in a position to buy a house right now. We could afford it if we didn’t have credit cards to pay off, but we do. However, this common knowledge of mine doesn’t stop nor deter me from looking at real estate listings in Beeville & San Antonio. Lately, I’ve been focusing on Beeville because it’s where I currently work and live, and I don’t want to leave at the moment.

First was this house. I liked it because it was inexpensive. And it’s a HOUSE! But in hindsight, I didn’t like that the bedrooms were the SAME size as the 2 in our apartment, plus the location was kind of um…crappy, so there were more cons than pros. Except that it’s a HOUSE.

Then we looked at this house. The current owner is a “stager” so she has it filled with awesome accessories. She bought the home 4 years ago, and essentially has fixed it up to resell it. Problem is that the house was built in 1950 and has the original ceiling. To me that=asbestos=cancer=death=not a good choice. I realize she painted some walls, bought some nice appliances, new roof, new plumbing, new electrical, but still. ASBESTOS! So, this house was out of the picture. Oh, and our neighbors on either side have foil on their windows. Which to me is the most heinous thing ever. Seriously, if you want to darken a room, please go buy the Eclipse curtains from Wal-Mart that are like $14 each. Heck, only get 1 if it covers up the whole window. Please. I have 2 brown ones I am not using if you need them, but for heavens sake, save the foil for Thanksgiving!

Finally, we looked at this house. This one was the closest one for us in terms of what we want. Good neighborhood? (it’s essentially right behind where we live now=new) Check! Good price? Check! Sellers desperate to sell? Check! Low taxes? No. Yup, the taxes are what would get us at this house. That’s what you get for being in a good neighborhood, and it’s what we would truly want and pay for.

Just not right now.

Some major cons of that house are the funky ceiling shapes (they are high, which is a want of mine, but funky), the kitchen is the same size as our apartment kitchen, and the living room is smaller than ours. It just wouldn’t make sense. And it has NO garage. Actually, none of the houses we looked at do, and that’s weird. I want a garage.

Overall, renting makes sense for us right now. If you’re going to leave me a comment about how I am wasting my money, I will promptly cry. Because I am not wasting my money. I pay rent, it gives us a home/shelter, and it’s cheap enough to allow us to be debt free by February 2011. I don’t think that’s a waste.

I will admit that I am fully jealous of the 3 friends I have that are currently looking for houses. I know, that’s bad, it’s wrong to be jealous. But, one day my time will come, and for now I can live through them without having to pay the mortgage.

And now, onto my Dear John Letter.

Dear House,

I need to let you go for now. I know this is painful, and that we can’t bear to be apart, but one day we will be together. It’ll be great. I’ll buy you pretty furniture, nice paint, sparkling new floors, and my overpriced Electrolux washer/dryer set. But for now, I need to put to rest my Excel sheets, mortgage calculators, and MLS flyers. I can’t do it anymore, it’s too painful. Yes, this also means I won’t be searching for you on Remax.com, Realtor.com, and Trulia.com on my computer nor on my iPhone apps. Yes, this means I decided to not sell a kidney on the black market to use towards a down payment. Yes, this means I will likely not get $8K when I buy you in May 2011.

But overall, I’ll be a better person when we do meet again.

And even better, I’ll have months worth of inspiration from magazines to make you gorgeous. And MINE. All mine.

I love you.


And to be totally lame, writing that letter totally did make me cry. I’m a loser.

And to redeem myself for my hot mess of a post, here’s a preview of my next post/reveal…the living room!




  1. Naomi
    September 14, 2009 / 3:39 pm

    It's not wrong to be jealous. I am EXTREMELY jealous of your skillz. I may have some skillz, but I don't have Monicaz skillz. You really want something and you can't have it and that's going to hurt/make you cry. It would make me cry. I'm an emotional hot mess believe it or not. I just joined the wedding nightmare freak club last week.(insert eww face) You are an extremely talented person and I want to leave this long ass comment so that everyone knows!! (which they already do, and if they don't well I should kick their ass). You rock!!

  2. The Jerseymooners
    September 14, 2009 / 4:25 pm

    I am SO glad you are back to blogging! I love reading your blog..I totally, one million percent understand your house desire and jealousy. I am in the same boat. Sigh. It feels like it will never happen.

  3. Gwen
    September 14, 2009 / 7:27 pm

    Okay, I hadn't seen that house on Bowie….She is a stager, yet she painted those outlandish colors? Remind me not to hire her. Sorry, I couldn't let that one go without saying something.Sometimes dreaming, when it goes against your plan is more pain than pleasure. I am glad to hear that you are not going to torment yourself anymore.I can totally relate to your pain. In our case, we are paying off debt that isn't even mine and it grates on me that we probably can't move on a house right now. (debt is from his X)I still look though, maybe it is time for me to write a dear John letter of my own. Keep the dream, lose the pain girl! It will happen.

  4. MiriamR
    September 14, 2009 / 9:53 pm

    we are in the same boat. We want to buy but we are not ready and its not the right time for us. We still look though. I read its good to know exactly what you want so looking is just early prep right? I Figure if we pay off the debt when we finally buy a house we will be able to do what we want with it. If we bought now we would be stuck with whatever the house had for a couple years and not be able to afford improvements so I am willing to wait. That whole tempting 8000 dollar tax credit makes me crazy though, I feel like I am loosing out on that but I am sure there will be another something like it when its time to buy. I can't wait until November when I don't feel bad about missing out on that.

  5. the BLAH BLAH BLAHger
    September 15, 2009 / 12:23 am

    I'm stuck in my one bedroom condo, which is beautiful and MINE, but I still look at redfin.com all the time and shed a tear of sadness every now again about my "could be" house.