Baby on the brain.

Children scare me.

There, I said it.

I love babies and though their farts/poo stench could kill a person and their drool could drown someone, I generally think they are the cutest little things. And I have a love for baby hands- they are so tiny and cute. I love when my nephew Andrew grips onto my finger oh-so-tight. Love. Baby rabies. RABIES.

Toddlers…I would say I like those about 80% of the time. I don’t like them so much when they throw sippy cups or throw tantrums in front of the clearance section at Target. SHUT UP AND MOVE OUTTA THE WAY OF MY CLEARANCE!! Now, please, k, thanks.

Children ages 4-10…I like this age group 70% of the time. Sometimes they’re so cute and fun; other times I wonder why they haven’t been put up on Craigslist yet. Is that legal? Probably not. Don’t tell me it hasn’t crossed your mind, parents!

Tweens <gulp> This is an age I always imagined would be fun if you had a daughter. She’d be into makeup, want to go shopping, you can have lunch/movie dates on weekends while dad stays at home in stretchy pants drinking beer. Perfection. Now, I see my little sister-in-law’s (ages 8-12) and I am like thinking OHMYGODTHEYAREMONSTERS as I runaway. So, I’m gonna guesstimate a 50% likeability factor of this age group depending on their mood.

Teens <takes a swig of tequila> They are not human. I am convinced they are NOT human. They all of a sudden hate their parents, hate life, might become emo, make stupid mistakes and generally make their parents age a whole decade in the span of 5 years (13-18 age). This age range scares the living daylights out of me, because no matter how much a parent wants to have influence over what their teen says, looks like, and does, teens generally will do their own thing. TV shows don’t help any. Without giving away anything, did anyone see what happens with Naomi’s daughter on Private Practice?


Though I know all this, and I do think about this sort of crazy stuff, I am still having a case of the baby rabies. It’s mild one day and totally out of control the next day. But what I wonder is how a parent can look past all the crazy mistakes and misfortunes that happen when you have a child. That unconditional love that a parent has for their child- what if I don’t have that love towards my child? I know people say it’s different once you have a child, but I am always afraid I am going to land my child in therapy or that I am going to have too high expectations for my child and end up constantly disappointed by them. What if I don’t get out of my selfish stage (this blog is about things I want)? What if my kid doesn’t love me? What if I have a BOY? A BOY! As in, NOT A GIRL. What if they’re not smart or bright? What if they are not cute?

Again, I know that it will probably be different once I have a baby and their tiny little hands grip tightly to my mommy finger, but I am just so scared.

These are all things that cross my mind, and no, I am most definitely not pregnant right now. Nor will I be anytime soon. I know I’ve got to lose these 50ish pounds before it would even be an option, and I want to live in a house, so probably 2013 is when we will try. I know I could get pregnant right now, but I don’t think it’d be healthy. I know it wouldn’t be. I want people to be able to tell I am pregnant. I don’t want to be at this weight and add baby weight on top of it. NO THANKS! I want to be a cute, healthy pregnant gal. Keyword being healthy.

Lately, whenever I want something bad to eat or am thinking about that greasy cheeseburger, I try to think of my beautiful little baby girl (yes, girl, I want a girl) and how much I want to be healthy for her, and the thought goes away. I think that has been the true reason I have been able to stick to points the past 2 weeks.

But, the point of this post is really that I have a nursery all planned out in my head. If you’ve known me (whether it be in real life, Twitter, or this blog) you probably will NOT be surprised by my choices. Those of you that don’t have children- do you have a nursery all planned out in your head? Those of you with kiddos- what is your favorite part of being a mom?

And for the record, that is a BOY in the damask carseat.

Just sayin’.

Chic Damask Nursery Chic Damask Nursery by MonicaBenavidez on

Items in this set: ruffle frame shelf – $0.00 : brocade home, $499 Portico Mirror | Mirrors | Mirrors & Lighting | Z Gallerie, $269 Black Shade Chrome 3-light Crystal Chandelier |, $126 Seed Sprout – Damask Portable Crib Bedding, Black and…, $35 Color Fusion Newcastle Rug, Hot Pink: Decor, $12



  1. Anonymous
    January 15, 2010 / 3:53 pm

    omg I'm sitting her crying from laughing after reading this! Especially the dad in stretchy pants part..I also get mild to heavy cases of baby rabies. I look at my nephew and want kids so much more and so much less all at the same time!I don't have a nursery idea yet for the same reason I cant pick a stupid logo… I like too many ideas…. I've always been a fan of winnie the pooh but i love some recent safari or animal print themes (not going over board).*sigh*

  2. Abby
    January 15, 2010 / 4:07 pm

    Life as you know it changes forever! I can't remember life before Hannah was born. Ok, well I can remember my crazy college days, but it almost seems like those were things that happenend to another person. You would have to get quite a bit of alcohol in me to expose those secrets, but that another story…Motherhood is the most difficult, yet most rewarding job ever! It's amazing that I can stil say that even though I am raising a Toddler right now, and those tantrums are not fun for parents either! The unexpected kisses and hugs are what I live for. Seeing a little bit of you and your husband in all the small things she does is amazing. Realizing that you two created this (almost) perfect little being that walks around and is developing into her own person is such a gift. In fact the other night after Hannah was running around not wanting to go to bed, Brian held her in his arms and turned to me and said, "Thank you." I looked a bit confused and he said, "Thank you for giving me this gift." I cried because I am such a sap these days, but I realized what a gift and blessing all this is. Now, parenthood really tests your relationship with your husband, and that all I have to say about that. If you want to know more, well, read my blog. My fruestrations are bound to come out at some point. LOL

  3. rosamaria
    January 15, 2010 / 4:11 pm

    oh man..i have a case of the baby rabies…and i have one, already! but shes almost 2 and turning into a little girl more and more everyday. and i know that in a blink of an eye she will be going off to school, and then bringing home boys (and crying when her daddy kicks them out), and asking for a car, and going to prom with some guy i probably hate, and then college and then walking down the aisle with some guy i will prob hate bc hes taking my baby…and well, i miss the baby days already.but…thats usually in the morning. by the evening after the 12 meltdowns, incessant whining, constant "Ma, ma, mom, mamma, mommy, maaaa" and "no. no no" and fights about eating dinner or legs kicking when i have had enough of dora and i turn it off and the continual picking up of small toys that gathered in the living room in what seems like 5 seconds after i put them back in the playroom, and the 3rd time of wiping crayon off the tv (yes the really expensive LCD that is my second baby–thank god they are washable crayons)…i sit down, while i fold laundry and vacuum the embedded nutrigrain bars out of the carpet, i am pretty certain i'll wait another year til i have another. (plus, as i vacuum i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and i, too, have about 50 pounds before i could have another since i gained so much with her-admittedly more bc of the mcdonalds than her)of course, then when i wake up to "hi ma" and that baby girl smile that melts my heart every time i see it, that hug and the wet kiss i get on my cheek as she reaches for me and says "downstairs, ma?" , i am pretty sure i'm ready for another =) so–to end this…they change your life, and you will love them unconditionally and so much sometimes it feels like your heart is going to burst…and you will still be selfish sometimes, but in the end its hard to remember life before them, even as you wipe baby spit, drool, and food off your shirt. oh, and if you have that little girl…you BETTER be buying bows from http://www.bellamiabowsnthings.etsy.comheh.

  4. Gwen
    January 16, 2010 / 1:10 am

    You forgot to mention the after 18 year olds that suddenly want you to pay for college, think nothing of having multiple parking tickets, decide that they want to move to Colorado, even though they don't have a J.O.B. and can't even pay their bills now….Oh sorry, this is your baby rabies post, not my I want to strangle my step daughter talk. I understand the worries/fears that you have, but think of it this way..look at how much you love PW and how well you take care of him. When the time comes, you will be a great mom and everything will fall in place.

  5. Embellished Bayou
    January 19, 2010 / 5:29 am

    I can identify with having a nursery planned out! We don't have kids yet, but you better believe I've got the nursery decorated in my head! Except I'm like you, I have no idea what I'll do if we have a boy! Guess I won't be using that fabulous lavender & brown minky fabric that I bought on a whim!